…Learning new languages, relating to people, being spontaneous, dealing with public transport, being supportive, packing light, staying calm… Perhaps my most positive traveling attribute is my smile- it’s similar in every language.
I’m actually really nervous about the upcoming trek to Brasil.
I haven’t learned as much Portuguese as I should, booking our plane tickets was a pill, and obtaining a VISA has been a total headache.
What’s getting me through the rough parts of planning is Shane’s complete confidence. He is taking a trip up to the consulate in Chicago this week to hopefully iron out the wrinkles in my application, and talked me through options on the phone time and time again. Not only that, but he originally invited me on this adventure sanguine that I’ll be a positive contribution to his future clinics and lifestyle.
The thing is, getting there isn’t what I’m nervous about.
Shane will be only one other person in our entire city (see it here!) who speaks my language fluently, and he’s also the person I will share a home and life experience with.
I’m excited to undertake the challenge, don’t get me wrong. But it’s going to be a novel contingency for me. He clearly understands me on a deeper level than most, and complements me almost perfectly. I simply struggle with the idea of being each other’s only.
For perspective, I’ll be moving from a college environment where intelligent conversations flow freely with everyone around me, to a place where there’s one person I’ll be able to talk to openly. Not only that, but the most time we’ve spent together at a time is about three weeks, and we’ve had other English speakers around us. This time we’ll be in this growth opportunity for exactly 80 days, and cohabiting possibly for a long time beyond that.
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A common mistake that my peers make is placing the stress on their partners that they need to fulfill the other’s every need. I find that to be pretty ridiculous. I’m sure Shane doesn’t want to give me hair advice any more than I want to watch Star Wars.
I have to be willing to accept that one other person may not be able to fulfill my EVERY relationship need. This goes for friends and romantic partners. We aren’t saints, after all. On the flip side of that coin, it is absolutely expected to receive fundamental relationship needs out of a partner. These needs might be different than someone else’s, but no matter what relationship, both partners have to be willing to communicate and prioritize.
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I’m excited to see how our relationship changes, and how we use it as an incentive to learn the language more quickly in order to build relationships with the people around us. I’m also totally open to advice on how to keep our partnership healthy rather than isolated!