Take that a step further: When was the last time you were happy alone? Do you know how to be happy alone?
These musings are the number one reason why people tell me they don’t want to travel solo: They’re afraid of being lonely.
As we settle into different levels of self-isolation, this question might be easier to answer than ever before. However, that’s not what I’m asking.
I want you to identify when you were not just without people, but not reachable. A time when you’ve stopped any sort of one or two-way communication with the outside world: no scrolling on facebook, no ability for someone to reach into your mental space.
Maybe your phone was off in another room and you were reading. Perhaps all you did was leave your phone in the living room while you went to the bathroom.
Was it in the last week? Longer? Were you happy?
Why People Don’t Travel Solo
When people tell me that they couldn’t travel alone, they typically give me one of three objections: They don’t know where to start the solo travel process, they don’t know how to plan a trip, and they think that they don’t want to be lonely.
If you’ve been reading my other writing for a while, you’ve probably learned that I don’t spend a lot of time alone despite traveling solo. To combat being alone, I :
Stay in hostels so I can be social with other guests
Take group tours or join classes to meet people
When solo in northern Israel, I met this girl. She and a friend were out taking photos, and they kind of borrowed me and decided I was their friend for the hour.
You Don’t Have to Learn Before You Go
Solo travel is something that I don’t think I learned to do intentionally. I did it a lot before I realized I’d done it.
I remember telling a friend a couple of years ago that I was planning my first solo travel experience. She looked at me baffled. In fact, she told me I’d been doing it for years. “Sure,” I said, “But I mean like really going somewhere on my own”.
A Couple of Quick Stories
Let me tell you about the times I didn’t realize I’d solo traveled.
After freshman year of college, I had the opportunity to teach English in France for the summer. I went not knowing anyone, but knew that I’d be with a bunch of like-minded English speakers all summer.
I went on study abroad to Cyprus as the only person from my university. I didn’t know anyone on the program, but I knew there were 70 other people who would only be in Cyprus for a semester, so we’d probably become friends.
I went to Israel and Palestine for two weeks knowing that some friends’ families would help me out when I was there. I had people to lean on, so I didn’t see it as going solo.
In Hong Kong, I traveled solo but Couch Surfed. A stranger became my saving grace while there. Story here
How to be happy alone:
As in non-traveling life, making friends is weird. However, it’s typically easier when traveling if you play your cards right.
In this video, I outline how to make friends while traveling. The internet is riddled with blogs and tips, but here’s the thing: when you’re traveling, you have more in common with the person next to you than not.
Think about it. The person next to you has likely come from a similar place, and something similar drew them there. They’re also away from home and likely looking for someone to share the joy of traveling with. A simple comment on their travel gear can kick off a day of camaraderie or at least some interesting stories.
I know I’m oversimplifying it. I’m basically saying, “Well, then just don’t be alone!”. It’s not that easy. However, if you go out of your way to meet people, you will. Here are a few ideas:
Stay in group housing such as hostels. Many have single rooms but common areas full of people looking to meet others, and some even host events for guests to do things together.
Go on group tours. This can be 7-day tours or activities for a few hours in the afternoon at your destination.
Hang out in tourist areas. It’s ok to read a book in the park or stay at a restaurant a little longer.
Use technology. Apps like meetup.com and Couchsurfing have meetups of all kinds all around the globe.
“Alone” On a beach in Morocco
How Alone Do You Want To Be?
This is a real question. I have friends who go off on ‘think weeks’. They lock themselves up somewhere far from society and turn their phones and TV’s off and are intentional about their thoughts and actions.
Other friends go on cruises for singles in hopes of spending lots of time with other people. This is their idea of being alone.
Other friends show up to motorcycle rides alone in hopes of making future biking friends.
Here’s the truth nugget: If you want to meet lots of people but go lock yourself in a cabin in the woods, you’re going to have an awful solo trip. If you want to meet lots of people but stay at a hostel near the woods or a campground with lots of community activities, you might have the best ever solo trip. It’s up to you.
It really comes down to effort and mindset. So, let’s talk about mindset.
So you’re stuck at home. Working from home or being off work is a challenge, and yes, self-quarantine sucks. The good news is, you’ll also have a bunch of extra time to accomplish something or try something new!
Interested in using the self-quarantine to be better? Keep reading.
Become a self-quarantine QUEEN. (Add this to your Pinterest board!)
Hear me out on this: Don’t spend your whole self-quarantine watching Netflix . Let’s do some quick math:
You save a lot of time working from home. If you’re working remotely while self-quarantining, this is how much extra time you’ll have each day:
1 hour to get ready
2 hours of commuting
1 hour lunch break stuck in/around the office
That’s 4 hours a day or 20 hours a week that you can use to be more productive at home, or choosing to be more adventurous. And let’s be honest: is anyone working from home actually working 40 hours a week?
Then, let’s say you catch two hours of Netflix per night. You now have 14 hours, plus the 20 that you saved by not going to an office. That’s 34 hours that you can use to do something you’re proud of. It also means nearly 70 hours in the next two weeks. Minimum.
Remember, self-quarantining just means staying away from others. Feel free to get outside!
What could you accomplish in 70 hours?
You no longer have an excuse that you ‘don’t have time’ to do something. Now is that time.
You could make money, finally put the time into a passion project that you’ve been meaning to, or simply get your ducks in a row. Here are my favorite ideas that I’d love to see people do during self-quarantine:
“Travel” During Quarantine
*Edit* I created this course, and it’s been SO fun to see what people come up with – plan your dream trip in just a few minutes, and take the trip when this is all over.
Take Care of Your Financial Health During Self-Quarantine
Get your financial ducks in a row – Your financial advisor is likely taking calls rather than meeting people in their office. Call them and have a conversation about optimizing your 401(k), opening a ROTH IRA, paying off your student loans, or what you’ll do with your tax return.
Do your taxes – Yes, just get them over with. You can access every document you need on the internet, so just do it. Boom, extra dollars.
Declutter – Take the time to go through your closet, shed, basement, or whatever storage you have. Figure out what you can sell at Plato’s Closet, Facebook Marketplace, or otherwise. If the economy or lack of work is kicking your butt, you might be able to make some extra money this way.
Create a travel budget – Start planning how you’ll save money for your next trip
Cancel your subscriptions – Time to get rid of HelloFresh if you’re not eating it. Do you really need FabFitFun and Ipsy? Nope. The money you save on those two per year is enough to take a long weekend away or make an extra student loan payment!
What’s something you’ve never done solo? Time to step outside your comfort zone!
Take Care of Your Physical & Mental Health During Self-Quarantine
Catch up with old friends – Everyone has extra time right now, so start setting up FaceTime dates.
Do RAKs – Random Acts of Kindness are super beneficial to your mental health as well as others’. Some ideas include: make a meal for your neighbors, clean up a local park, or donate some soap/TP/hand sanitizer/food to people who weren’t able to get to the store on time or couldn’t afford to stock up.
Take the Minimalism Challenge – When is a better time to do a challenge than when you’re stuck at home? This one only takes a weekend!
Create a Mighty Life List – Don’t know what it is? Even better. Check it out here!
Exercise – Yes, you can do it at home. Follow Yoga With Adrienne on Youtube. Look up some exercises. Go out in the backyard and do something weird. Give the neighbors something to whisper about.
Journal – This is a weird experience. Release some thoughts/energy by being creative. You could also paint something, sing something, or create in other ways.
Pick up your instrument – I haven’t played my ukulele in months. These Italians are doing it, and they’ve created a quarantine street band phenomenon!
Camping counts as social distancing!
Expand Your Mind During Self-Quarantine
GO OUTSIDE – The self-quarantine is about social distancing, not staying inside. Go for a walk. Check out the bike path. Fly a kite. Mow the lawn. Visit your local parks.
Read for at least an hour before turning on the TV, and limit yourself to one hour at a time. Check out this booklist for suggestions.
Learn a new skill like knitting infinity scarves or how to do a headstand.
Go buy a puzzle or two.
Go Camping – Again, you just have to maintain 6ft of distance from people. Easy to do while in the forest. Or, pitch a tent in your backyard!
Do a virtual museum visit. These 12 museums are opening their online doors for FREE!
Take a course online through Udemy or Teachable. There are a million courses out there. Learn about social media. Take a short course about coding. Learn how to do the Tango.
Keep 6ft of distance between you and anyone you encounter
Other Ideas for Things To Do During Self-Quarantine
FINISH a home improvement project – Key word here is finish. We all have a million projects we’ve started. Now you finally have the time. Lawn projects count, too.
Do a photoshoot – Grab a friend and a camera phone and drive somewhere – now is the perfect time because other people won’t be in the back of your photos!
Try a new recipe – Quiche is easier than you might think. Protein balls are super fun to make. Always wanted to learn how to make grandma’s chili? Now you have the time AND the canned goods to do it.
Start a blog – It’s like banging your head against the wall, but it’s fun. Or start a niche Instagram. Build a Shopify store. Do something online. Start your passion project.
Create a course – Share a skill and make money doing it.
What’s that thing you’ve said you don’t have time for? Go do it. Now, you have time.
Do a photo shoot – there won’t be folks in the back of your photos!
Here’s the Takeaway:
You no longer have the excuse of not having ‘time’ to do something. This is your time. Even if you’re working from home, you’ll suddenly have lunch breaks and no commute. You’ll be two steps away from a new hobby, income stream, or simply relaxing.
I’d venture that we are going to see some incredible things come from the self-quarantine. What will you accomplish?
THE MORE YOU SPEND, THE FEWER PEOPLE YOU MEET AND YOU’LL ENCOUNTER LESS CULTURE.
Or at least, this is what I wrote in a post back in 2016. This post is a cut-paste-edit of what I wrote back then, based on how my beliefs have changed ever so slightly.
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In summation, what I believe is this: If we spend money on things that make our lives easier, it impedes our opportunities for connection.
Let’s look at two extremes to illustrate my point.
Situation A: You fly first class to Paris and don’t see your plane neighbors ($5800RT). You take a private car or Uber ($100) from the airport to your hotel and have a professional driver, but you paid for data on your phone ($10) and do not engage in conversation anyway. Upon arrival at the international hotel chain($400/night) that you have points at, the concierge, check-in desk, and bellhops all speak English. You get to your room, relax in a private bath, and venture out to a restaurant($100/pp) that the concierge recommends, and finish off the night with a glass of wine from the hotel bar ($15). You eat out for 3 meals a day at an average of $150/day.=$9655 , not including museums, shopping, other meals, etc.
Situation B: Flying coach on a budget airline isn’t anyone’s cup of tea; if you’re lucky, the middle seat is open ($400). After plummeting through the air with 200 of your best stranger friends, you arrive at a crowded airport, make your way to the bus lines, and drop a few coins in the machine for an RER ticket ($12). 45 minutes later, you’ve seen the ‘real’ parts of the city you arrived in and walk the rest of the way to your hostel ($20). The people in the lobby are playing cards and pulling together supplies for supper. You stop by the grocery store down the street to contribute to this version of Stone Soup($10). Go back to the hostel, make dinner, and all share a 6 pack of 1604 ($5) while telling travel stories and making plans to do a self-guided walking tour the next day. You eat street food or cook three times a day with friends for an average of $30/day. =$867
Plane ticket, Transport, Lodging, Food, Drink. I’m nobody to say who had a richer experience, but I think that my opinion on which situation encountered more of the local vibe is clear.
A personal point:
I traveled to 3 central American countries in March of 2016 and including plane ticket spent about $1000 in 9 days. I traveled to 5 eastern European countries in November 2015 and including plane and car rental spent less than $1300. I traveled to three other Central American countries for 10 days in November of 2017 and spent less than $1200. That’s an average of less than $300 per country including plane tickets.
Now, here’s the flip side.
There are experiences that money CAN buy. Learning to dive was a bucket list experience for me, and I spent hundreds of dollars a day doing it in Thailand. However, the friends I made there were all staying in a hostel bedroom for $10 a night.
I travel to meet people, and to fall in love with places. People help me to fall in love. I want to stay in cheap lodging and have dodgy train experiences, and to eat the street food that the locals do.
I also want to be safe. I don’t eat from the gutter for the sake of saving money. I take private cars and Ubers at night so that I’m not out alone (especially in the US). I typically buy SIM cards so that I can call someone if I am lost.
What I’m saying is
We travel how we choose to, but a week in Paris doesn’t have to cost $10,000. It could be just as fun spending less than a grand.
And also… you probably CAN afford to travel more.
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If you’ve ever wondered to yourself, ‘Should I travel solo?’ then I have news for you. It’s going to change you, in ways you might not be ready for. Here’s a bunch of reasons that you should NOT travel solo.
It’s addicting
My first hit of solo travel was going to work abroad with a bunch of people that I didn’t know. I was hooked right away and started taking day and weekend trips away from my colleagues. My addiction escalated and a few years later I studied abroad with a group of people from around the world that I didn’t know. After graduation, I joined the workforce and I started taking weeklong trips to countries that I didn’t know the language. It got so bad that I started going on extravagant road trips to national parks and even went camping alone.
Antigua, Guatemala on Thanksgiving 2017
Now, I am so far down the rabbit hole of solo travel that I book travel before finding anyone to go with. The addiction is real, and if the first step is to admit that I have a problem, then group travel is simply not a rehab program that I’m interested in.
You’ll experience too much
I hear people say that they don’t want to solo travel because they’ll get lonely. While I understand that it’s easy to confuse being alone with being lonely, I have to object. Loneliness means that you’re seeking conversation, and conversation means a new experience with a new person.
Because I stay in hostels and take tours in English, it’s pretty rare that I go longer than I want to without having a great conversation with someone. Once you learn to start conversations with other travelers and locals, the whole travel experience changes!
When it comes to other travelers, I find it super easy to strike up conversations! Most of the time, when you meet another solo traveler, they welcome the conversation. I was traveling on my own and stayed in a hostel on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala. The hostel had community breakfast and I sat at a table with people from 5 countries and mentioned that I’d like to hike to the next town over that day. One guy asked if he could join me, and we have traveled to 3 countries together since then!
2 of the breakfast crew. I traveled with Omri (right) for several days, then again in the US a few months later.
Locals will appreciate you speaking with them as well, and are typically super helpful. I remember asking for directions one time in Cyprus and it turned in to a dinner invite with the person’s entire family. If I’d been traveling with a friend and not been dependent on asking other people questions, I would never have experienced a traditional Cypriot family meal.
Do NOT solo travel if you’re not looking for new, unique experiences.
It will affect your mental health
Do you struggle to find confidence in yourself? Do you lack gratitude for what the rest of the world has to offer? Then definitely DON’T travel solo.
Traveling solo puts you in situations that will challenge you. I was once left without a flight home from Hong Kong and had no idea what to do. The same thing happened to me in Lebanon another time. I once thought I had a broken foot in Croatia and had an infected ear in Thailand. I’ve had to figure my way out of situations many times and it is exhausting. It left me more confident in my abilities and more mentally resilient than I could have imagined.
Me figuring things out in Hong Kong when the airport was shut down due to protests
Not only that, but being outside of my comfort zone brought me a deep appreciation for both where I’ve visited and where I am from. Before visiting the Middle East, I only knew what I had seen on the news. I still chose to visit, but only because I had friends of friends that were going to hold my hand the whole time. While there, I camped and ate the most amazing food of my life. I saw what was behind the news-created curtain, and I developed keen gratitude for the freedoms that my passport allows.
You’ll be forced into doing things you aren’t ready for
Oh, so you’re not looking to grow as a person? Great, then don’t travel solo. Because let me tell ya, I have had to do some things that I was not ready for.
Did I want to have to figure out the Paris metro system without cell service? Nope, but I did because I didn’t know I could buy a SIM card. Was I comfortable asking strangers for help with my Duolingo level Arabic? Nope, but it was my only option. Did I want to jump off a cliff? No, but I did because I was in the Mediterranean and felt silly saying no. Was I ready to say goodbye to the amazing people that I learned to surf with? No, but life moves on and so did I.
Pulled over to watch the sunset at a park in Croatia.. except it turned out to be these fellas’ farm! They served us snacks and drinks and showed us around, plus taught us about the Yugoslavian war.
Traveling, especially solo traveling, will put you into situations that you can’t plan for. Which leads me to my final point…
It will leave you changed
If you like who you are right now, then definitely don’t take off on a solo adventure. You will come back with stories that people might not relate with, and you won’t have a person by your side to reminisce with. In fact, the people that you share the memories with might be a Facebook message and a world away.
You will not come back from solo travel as the same person. Things that felt intimidating before you left will seem trivial now. You might find yourself going to dinner alone or striking up conversations with strangers.
Hitchhiking in Cyprus with a box of cookies in my hand
The bottom line
If you’re not looking for a new addiction that makes you a more interesting person, then don’t solo travel. It will only leave you worse for the wear – you’ll become a more resilient, educated, outgoing version of yourself. And really, who wants that?
Before watching a diversity and travel panel, I thought I could see myself traveling just about anywhere. I realized in the days following that I was wrong. Travel privilege is real, and it’s wise to be aware of it.
I sat in the front row with my notebook open, ready to soak up all the things I learned from them. And let me tell ya, it was plentiful.
Diversity can be different ability levels – Would you be able to get to the bottom of a canyon?
What I Learned about Privilege and Travel
One specific topic that came up was the idea of safety. I’ve lived in a bubble where the biggest threat to my safety as a woman was my self-awareness. However, the people speaking on the panel had to think a bit deeper about their safety. They asked themselves questions like, “Will I be made fun of?” and “Will I be assaulted simply because of how I look?”
I also learned that I have never had to google, ‘Racism in ___’ and ‘Safest places to go as a ____ person’. This is privilege – assuming the world is going to accept me.
The questions then turned to something like, “If I don’t see myself represented in advertisements, tourism publications, and in content online, I don’t know if it’s truly safe for me to go there.”
This struck me. I couldn’t think of a single time that I didn’t go somewhere just because I couldn’t picture myself there. To be honest, I kind of rejected their perspective thinking that it was a bit extreme. This is travel privilege.
Streets in my village in Morocco – Another privilege is my physical abilities.
Travel Privilege
Two days later, I was on Facebook and saw a video come up in a travel group that I’m a part of. Someone had posted this video about Saudi Arabian toursim, and it changed my train of thought 180 degrees. The video shows women touring museums together, driving fancy cars, and doing it all without their hair covered. Some of the women in the video were blonde and some were black. Here’s the thing – until I saw this video, my internal dialogue was, “I don’t think I’m even allowed into Saudi, I’m not Muslim”. Now, I can totally see myself visiting.
A few days later, I saw a bunch of content creators that I follow on Instagram visiting Accra, Ghana for the Year of Return. I thought to myself, ‘I can’t go there, I’m not ‘returning”.
Last week, a content creator that I follow posted a video about how Pakistan has opened its doors to tourists. They have created myriad programs to attract people, but that people largely aren’t coming due to a past reputation that the country earned.
The bottom line is, that I have the privilege of choosing where I go. I can get to the tops of mountains and I can get strangers to trust me. It’s because of who I am, both on the inside and outside. Not everyone has the privileges that I do.
Another privilege is not having to worry about my religion or skin color giving me away in most western places.
The Point
My point is this: I am going to travel everywhere, and it’s not going to be easy. I’m 49 countries in and won’t stop. However, it’s important on a grander scheme to lift as we climb. By which I mean, as I travel far and wide, and as others do, we can pave a way to help others see themselves in new places as well.
When we travel, we understand each other better. When we understand each other, we can create connections and peace from the ground up.
The one thing I hear from my W2 friends is, “I want to travel more, but I think I’m almost out of PTO.”. Every year, I travel over Thanksgiving. It has been my #1 trick to sneaking in an extra week-long vacation every year. Read on to hear why it makes sense for YOU to leverage the holiday to travel.
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Three Reasons to Travel Over Thanksgiving
PTO
Just about every company in the US gives Thanksgiving Thursday off. Most either give that Friday off or let people loosely work remotely. Honestly, very few people come into the office anyway. Therefore, you can leave the Friday before Thanksgiving and return the Sunday after. This 10-day trip would only ‘cost’ you 3 PTO days. 3 days of PTO for a 10-day vacay? YES!
Thanksgiving Day 2016 – Novi Sad, Serbia
It’s Cheap
It’s well-known that Thanksgiving is the holiday in the US that people travel most for. People who live outside of the US come back during this time as well. However, because other countries don’t celebrate Thanksgiving, the flights going to pick those people up are typically nearly empty. People tend to stay in the US during Thanksgiving week, especially business travelers. For that reason, flights out of the US before T-day and returning after the holiday are often SUPER cheap.
An example: I once flew from Boston to Budapest and back for $420. One Thanksgiving, I went from Fort Lauderdale to Barcelona and back from Madrid for about $400. Another year, I flew Miami to Guatemala City and back from Honduras for $225.
Saturday before Thanksgiving 2018 – Andorra la Vella, Andorra
Off-season
November isn’t really high season anywhere. It’s nearly winter in the northern hemisphere which usually means a high chance of rain, and in the southern hemisphere summer isn’t quite in full swing. For this reason, hostels and hotels are typically the cheapest during Thanksgiving week, restaurants are super easy to get in to, and you’ll run into fewer tourists. It’s a great way to have a low-cost time at your destination!
Thanksgiving Day 2017 – La Libertad, El Salvador
My Thanksgiving trip in 2017 in Serbia, Croatia, Hungary, Slovenia, and Bosnia with details here.
Thanksgiving 2018 in Central America trip details here.
Have questions about Thanksgiving travels? Comment below!
