I quit drinking after Christmas and have been sober since. In hindsight, the decision to quit drinking was somewhere between ‘Sober January’ and ‘I’m not an alcoholic’. Here are the 3 things I learned during my first 8 weeks of sobriety.
At a country music concert in Dallas
You see – my family LOVES beer. My uncle has brewed it on and off. Nobody in my circles find shame in having a drink with lunch, especially on a birthday, or when the grandkids are in town, or any other small reason for celebration. Beer is tied to connection, joy, and loosely to heritage in my family. I realized that it’s been a decade since the last time I went more than a couple weeks without a drink, so I decided to do a little experiment on myself.
Here’s what I learned after quitting alcohol:
It’s Not That Hard
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little concerned. Everyone on both sides of my family drinks. Some drink to excess, some drink more often than others. Part of me was doing a temperature check to make sure that I could stop if I wanted to.
So, I guess that means I’m not an alcoholic.
Having a lunch date with my grammy
Nothing Happened When I Quit Drinking
I went sober right before I moved away from Dallas. In the first couple of weeks of sobriety, I went to visit family and friends for a few weeks and embarked on a nomadic lifestyle. I wanted to be more present in my relationships as they changed, and I succeeded.
I kind of figured that people would push me to drink. You know, the ‘just one, for me’ argument. Really, nobody cared that I quit drinking. My friends still drank. I didn’t.
My sprite intake has skyrocketed.
Nobody asked me to drive for them, or joked about it.
Nobody asked if I was pregnant.
Nobody even asked if I was an alcoholic or had a problem.
Not even my doctor.
My skin didn’t suddenly get better. I didn’t lose weight, I didn’t start to get more of a ‘natural glow’. I feel like all those ‘go sober, alcohol is so 1920s’ websites were lying to me.
I didn’t start sleeping better. In fact, for about 6 weeks I slept like shit. Maybe that’s the only difference I really saw. Red wine is a great soporific.
One other thing that happened – emotions. I felt my move. I felt my goodbyes. A personality trait of mine is that I joke to hide discomfort, but when I was alone in my apartment some nights, I emoted better than I have in a long time. Maybe it was the lack of alcohol, maybe it was the move, but that leads me to the last thing I learned:
Having a sunset drink in Morocco with friends. Peep the Lifestraw bottle.
I’m Glad I Did It.
At the end of the day, sober is better. There, I said
it.
I’m not going to be sober forever. But, I’ll say that there’s no single thing that alcohol makes better.
Drinking makes dancing in a crowded room a little less uncomfortable, but I went to concerts and bars and drank water. Or sprite.
Alcohol at the end of an ‘I need a drink’ type of day doesn’t
make the day any better, and escaping those days with a little buzz doesn’t
make me a stronger person.
Sobriety didn’t make the goodbyes and the ‘see you laters’ any better or worse. It didn’t make my mornings any better, or my workouts more impactful. I haven’t lost weight.
I don’t miss alcohol. To be honest, I thought I would, and it worried me that I might be thinking about it. After the first couple of weeks, I was used to ‘starting with water’ and since nobody really cared, I wasn’t explaining my sobriety to anyone and it was easy to forget about it.
Bonus Lesson Learned: I’ll Drink Again.
That said, I’ll go back. I’m going to Germany next week, and I’ll head to Italy the week after that. I’d be robbing myself culturally if I didn’t indulge – or that’s what I tell myself.
If anything, my ‘drinking days’ are behind me. That said, I’ll still drink, but I think it took living in the sun to see that dancing in the rain isn’t as romantic as I thought it was.
I’ll eventually do a ‘What’s In My Travel Wallet’ post, but for now, know that besides my passport, this is the most valuable thing I keep in my pocket.
(Photo by Wyatt Smith)
How Does it ‘Save Money’?
To dig into that, you have to first understand the benefits of the card.
Benefits:
$300 of travel credit per year
Travel insurance included
Lounge access via Priority Pass Membership
One free year of LyftPink
$60 of DoorDash credits/year
DashPass Membership
$100 every four years for Global Entry or TSA Precheck
50,000 point sign up bonus after spending $4,000 in the first 3 months
No foreign transaction fees
3x points on travel and dining
How I have used them to save money:
Anything travel-related up to $300 comes right off of the credit card statement before I ever get billed. In my mind, that brings the ‘cost’ of the card down to $150 because I spend at least $300 in travel most months. This leaves me to justify only the last $150.
I could get a very expensive travel insurance package, but the benefits that my card comes with supplement my Allianz travel insurance so well that I save about $450/year on additional travel insurance. Chase refunded me all the additional expenses that I incurred by getting stuck in Hong Kong last year, thus justifying about $70 more of itself.
I mean, DoorDash credits = $60 of free food. What’s not to love?
My Global Entry was automatically credited back to my card – I didn’t have to seek reimbursements. This benefit (the ability to skip customs when entering the US) was $100 two years ago, but let’s call it $25 since it only is eligible every four years.
I get lounge access in most airports. This means free food, drink, napping space, and sometimes even showers. Considering the amount of time I spend laying over in airports, this could pay for the full cost of the card. I took 33 flights last year. If I stopped for a $10 food or beer (probably a conservative estimate on what airport food costs) in only half of those, the benefit would be about $115.
I’d have spent up to 3% of every single purchase I made abroad in transaction fees, but this card charges 0 transaction fees.
And I got a boatload of points on travel and dining, thus contributing to free flights
By my math, using this card instead of any other has saved me at least $950, and subtracting the cost of the card itself, has saved me $500 this year.
But what if you don’t travel as often as I do? This leads me to…
Is There A ‘Lite Version’?
Yup. It’s called the Chase Sapphire Preferred. I had it for a few years and loved it. No lounge access, no travel credits back, no Global Entry credit, but it has a great sign-up bonus and accumulates a lot of points on travel and dining. It has a better sign up bonus than the Reserve (75,000 points after $4,000 spent). Very worth it, in my opinion.
Do you use Chase, or have another card you use to travel? Let me know below, I’m always excited to hear about other options!
Every year, it is my goal to read 24 books or two books a month. This year, I read 25, and have some suggestions for you!
I read some great books and some that truly made me cringe. Read on for what I recommend as you create your 2020 reading list, and scroll to the bottom for the ones that you can give as gifts to people you hate.
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My Top 5: Books that changed the way I see things
Book of Joy– Written based on a five-day conversation by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, this should be required reading for the beginning of every new year.
Great Believers – I laughed along with these characters and cried openly as I finished it. Based in Chicago in 1985 with a little back-and-forth with modern Paris, this book brought to light an entire era that changed the way I see ‘pride’.
Behold the Dreamers– Written from the perspective of a Cameroonian in New York City, the author built a bridge between white Americans and immigrants in a readable, inspiring way.
Happy Pocket Full of Money – More required reading for anyone who has a conflicted relationship with money, especially entrepreneurs.
The Hate U Give – This was my first ‘can’t put it down’ book of the year. This gave a perspective into what it’s like to grow up between several cultures in America and was WAY better than the movie.
Honorable Mentions:
Where the Crawdads Sing – This was probably on everyone else’s top 5 lists this year, and it was a story that kept me captivated until the end.
Mummy Come Home – This book was gifted to me in Malaysia, and while it was a good read, it was dark. Trigger warnings all around, but it was well written and certainly eye-opening to the ‘other side’ of travel. (Other side being those who do not choose to travel, but are forced out of their homes and into dangerous situations)
Language of Miracles– Another perspective on living as an immigrant in America, this time from the perspective of a kid born to immigrant parents who only want the best for their family, and how he struggles to find his place between his parent’s beliefs and his own experience.
Beach Reads:
A good bunch of these came from a weird Harlan Coben streak that happened while I was in Southeast Asia. I’m a sucker for a psych thriller!
In a Deep, Dark Wood – Written by the same author as Woman in Cabin 10, another ‘girl dies, who did it’ that you should DEFINITELY read before it becomes a movie next year.
Girls of Glass – A little girl dies… who did it? This time with a hint of ‘Florida Man’ and southern corruption.
What You Did– Trigger warning, a girl is raped. Who did it?
The Harlan Coben Novels:
All that you need to know is that they’re all the same. Cops, FBI, murder, someone got framed… but they’re so good.
Unqualified– Sure, Anna Faris counts as a development book! Funny, quick read. Probably perfect if you’re in college and looking for cheap inspiration.
Happiness Advantage – Gift this one to your boss, or your young professional friends. Or your old professional friends. Or yourself.
Girl, Wash Your Face – The Rachel Hollis classic. She’s no psychologist, but she did, in fact, get me to wash my face.
Ten Years a Nomad – Written by the OG of travel blogging, this book is a really long story about how he didn’t find a wife out on the road… and other lessons within that. The lessons were great, but he really seemed to need to let readers know that he is straight and got laid at least a few times in 10 years.
Bottom of the Barrel: Books that I only read because they were what was available in English at my hostel.
If you choose to read any of these, I’m judging you.
We’ve all been there – left wondering if we should get the mail carrier a little something for the holidays, or what to get for the person that has everything. Well, don’t you worry. I have you covered for ideas on what to get just about anyone on your list this year, and all are under $30!
It’s a little tongue-in-cheek, so let me know in the comments if at least one made you chuckle.
So here it is…
A gift for:
The niece that’s about to go abroad for the first time and will inevitably come back correcting everyone, “It’s actually pronounced BarTHelona”.
Access to a course on Udemy.com. From blockchain to blogging, guitar to Google Analytics, this site has so many affordable class offerings. Why not gift a new skill?
The person that reminds you how comfortable they are with their masculinity by insisting on being the one to trim the Christmas bird:
The site ManCrates has myriad boxes that are just so… manly. My personal favorite is the jerky cane.
The elusive one who keeps going off the grid, only to reappear with a suspicious tan and a bottle of local liquor that they describe as ‘a cousin of rum’:
Also good for: gamers, programmers, and other cubicle dwellers. Research shows that between 50% and 90% of people who work at a computer screen have at least some symptoms of deteriorating eyesight.
The roommate that you really wish would get her life together:
The barista that knows your coffee order by heart but not your name. (It’s ok, you don’t know theirs either.)
Hear me outhere. Everyone likes feeling appreciated, and nobody likes spending a bunch of money. Enter:regifting. Before I get into ideas, one thing:
I don’t think I should have to say this, but I will – make sure the tags are still on. Don’t make it weird.
That stash of pine-scented candles that your mother in law has given you for every mother’s day, Christmas, and birthday since you met? Consider this your opportunity to free up some cabinet space. Dust those suckers off, tie a bow around them, and boom! You’ve got a gift.
The fuzzy socks and lotion set that you seem to get every Christmas? Wrap em up and give them to the lovely neighbor lady.
The basket that you received in the office secret Santa? It’ll be perfect for the Yankee Swap in your small group.
One final note:
Get creative, but let me repeat: don’t make it weird. We’re adults and nobody wants the amateur painting of Starry Night that you did at Vino Van Gogh.
Have other silly holiday gift ideas? Drop them in the comments!
As a carry-on gal, it’s easy for me to say that you should do the same. Whether you’re looking to pack like a minimalist or just lighten your load, know that it is possible to take a carry on for nearly any trip.
You’ve seen me go to Panama for five days with only a drawstring and Southeast Asia for 8 weeks with only a backpack. I know it can be done, but I know it isn’t for everyone.
This was what I packed for 10 days in Spain, Portugal, and Andorra.
This begs the question, should you check a bag, or challenge yourself to travel with less? Here’s the perks and pitfalls of each option:
When you carry on, you have to carry all your things with you through the airport. The perk is that everything is easy to find and compact.
When you check your bags, you risk the airlines losing your bag. The perk is that you can bring more things with you.
Of course, you could always keep a day’s worth of necessities in your carry on, and leave the rest at the mercy of the airlines as well
All the clothes I took for 10 days in Hondouras, El Salvador, and Guatemala
At the end of the day, I’m team carry-on. Here are a few tips for fitting everything into a carry-on:
Bring multi-purpose items – You can and should wear staple items more than once. For example, nobody will notice if you wear the same black pants more than once.
On that note, wear the same thing every day – No, not the same exact thing! I am one of those ‘If the shoe fits, buy it in every color’ types. Same goes for my pants. I have the same pair of LOFT pants in 4 colors, and the same style of shirt in 5 patterns. When I pack, I know that I can pair any of those shirts with any of the pants and the outfit will work with the same pair of shoes. I do NOT bring all of those on trips with me!
Shoes take up too much space – Here’s my theory: One pair of black shoes, one pair of white shoes. Everything you wear should match each other.
3 oz bottles and samples are your best friend – That perfume sample you got last year? Now is the time to stick it in the toiletry case. Save a ton of room by putting your shampoo, face wash, etc, in smaller containers. Old contact cases are great for bringing a small amount of moisturizer. As for makeup – you do not need to be photoshoot ready in the jungles of Vietnam. Leave most of it at home!
Laundry might be a cost-effective option. Whether you’re going to Disney as a family, Southeast Asia as a backpacker, outsourcing laundry while you travel might be much cheaper than paying for checked bags.
Leave maybe at home – If you are looking at an item thinking that you might wear it, leave it at home. Thinking of bringing two dresses for one event? Nope. Make that decision before you leave.
What do you say, could you go on a trip with just a carry-on? What is the longest amount of time you’d go with just a carry on?
This post is one of a series of tips & tricks for business travel. For related posts, see:
One morning when I was on an island in Thailand, I woke up and my ear was throbbing. I couldn’t hear, and the whole side of my head was hot. Nobody likes going to the doctor in Thailand, and I had to worry about whether or not I’d be able to communicate with mine.
Here’s a breakdown of how I handled it.
Loading up my scuba gear. The pressure from scuba likely pushed all my earwax to the back of my ear 😳
I woke up in my hostel room at the diving center in Koh Tao, Thailand. I’d been sharing a room with a few girls that I had gotten really close with, and I told them that I couldn’t hear out of my ear. Fortunately (for me, not her), one of the girls had broken a toe earlier in the week. Fortunate because she knew all about the medical system in Thailand. She also had travel insurance and I did not.
As an American, my first thought was, ‘Well shit. This is going to cost me an arm and a leg. And perhaps an ear.” A quick google search told me that Thailand does not have social health, so I would have to pay for my services upfront. Last-minute procedures are never cheap.
At about 10:45, I decided that I had no choice but to walk to the clinic. Lucky for me, there was one about a 10-minute walk away from the dive center.
Going to the Doctor in Thailand
I arrived just before 11 and saw the doctor immediately. I filled out a form and told him what was wrong. He used an otoscope to check out my ear and we chatted about diving for a few minutes. Then, he put oil into my ear and walked out of the room. He came back in when he heard me say, “ugh”.
“Dizzy?”
“Yes.”
“Ok no problem.” Walks away.
10 minutes later, he had me lie on my back and put a little bowl under my ear. He used a squeeze bottle to flush my ear out and cleared the blockage that had caused a minor infection.
I left the room and felt like I could hear EVERYTHING. The nurse gave me antibiotic drops and checked me out.
The damage?
$39. I put it on my credit card and walked home. The whole experience took 45 minutes and $39. That’s it. I stayed out of the water for the next couple of days and everything was fine.
I wish there was a more climactic end to this story, but I suppose the takeaway is that not all doctors are scary and expensive and take up a bunch of time. In fact, I’d rather go to the doctor in Thailand than spend 2 hours just in the waiting room in the US.
Have you ever been to a doctor abroad? How was it?
