Fair warning: This post has little to do with travel, and is my ramblings.
I don’t remember how old I was, or what the situation may have been, but I remember my grandpa telling me earnestly, “When you leave, always leave wanting more.” If I had to guess, I didn’t want to leave my grandparent’s house, and they were words of solace. That statement has stayed with me through so many choices; when I look back on things I’d rather not have done, I tend to just wish I’d terminated my involvement sooner (looking at you, Texas.).
As an extension of my recent reflections, I’ve thought about the people and events that have touched my soul and moved my heart in the past few years. The ones that have impacted me most are the people with whom I parted ways before I was ready. I believe everything happens exactly the way it should.
Monday marked the two year anniversary of the death of my grandpa. In the few weeks before I left for Brazil, I got to talk with my grandma about our memories, and how much I learned from him. I don’t regret a single moment we had, but I do wish there were more that we could experience together. Loyalty and honor.
I recently met a friend who brought out a part of me that I hadn’t connected with in a while. Whether we stay in touch for years or let communication fall by the wayside, I think we’re both better people from knowing each other. Recognition and receptiveness.
Seldom do I meet someone who can change my perspective overnight. There have been two girls I met while traveling who whip my paradigms of the world, then move on. One went by the name, ‘potato’ and the other taught me to hitchhike. Both carried everything they had in a 40 liter backpack. Opportunity and scarcity.
The ones who stick. The friends who I loved for a day, then became family. Who continue to push me in and out of the idea that my life begins where boundaries end, and journey to those boundaries with me. They’re my tribe and teach love in ways that family can’t. Balance and bravery.
So when it comes to loving these folks, I realize it’s better to move well than to arrive.
In life, I will fall in love with some people for one moon. They’ll come to me when I need them and be gone in the morning when I don’t. At first, I’ll feel empty and try to convince myself that I could’ve loved this person for longer than a day, but can’t. Some people are just meant to make cameo appearances, some are destined to be a pithy footnote.
I’ll also fall in love with someone so cold that I can’t find a smile, nonetheless a passion hiding below their layers. Someone who seems to push me away, leaving me only wanting their embrace. It will sting. but I’ll learn more from this love than I knew possible.
I will fall in love with the sounds of the zoo (?) in this neighborhood and the pungent smell of the marcado in the square. The way new places share the same wind, but the scents floating in it are unfamiliar. I’ll adore the roads that are halfway finished, and rhythm that is more noise than music.
I’ll fall for someone else’s love. To adore the way my grandparents bicker and the way they steal kisses, and how their heads land on the same pillows every night. I’ll see the way they hold each other as they walk into the unknown, because even their combined 150+ years can’t prepare them for some experiences.
Life, like any process, is not linear. It’s selfish and selfless, and purely tainted.
As I travel, through places and people and learning, I consider myself so blessed to get to share everything with loves that give life it’s special meaning.
This is secretly a shout out to my longest friend (mom told us so). We’ve done life together for just over 21 years, and have both shared our lives with countless others. I hope he’s been as in love with this world as I have. 🙂
According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. However, fearing their powers, Zeus split them into two separate beings, leaving them to spend the rest of their lives in search of each other.
I think there are so many songs about love because it is so open to interpretation and so vague.
As I visited last week, there is no way that there can only be one love.
Probability
First of all, some languages have multiple words for love. As many know, Greek has four (Philos, Eros, Agape, Stergo), plus multiple word combinations like Agapetos (beloved or loved one) all the way to Philadelphia (brotherly love). As if that isn’t impressive, Ancient Persian has 80. To take it a step further, Sanskrit has 96 words for love.
Side note: I also just learned that the Eskimo language has over thirty words for snow.
“English, only one. This is indicative of the poverty of awareness or emphasis that we give to that tremendously important realm of feeling.. An Eskimo probably would die of clumsiness if he had only one word for snow; we are close to dying of loneliness because we have only one word for love. Of all the Western languages, English may be the most lacking when it comes to feeling.” – Robert Johnson
Language is indicative of culture, who can blame people who suffer from narrow-mindedness if their language doesn’t allow them to explore a concept without words to describe it?
The red string of fate, an idea originating from Chinese legend, was tied around the ankles of those that are destined to meet one another. The two people connected by this red thread are destined lovers — the cord may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.
Beyond language barriers, what about land? If there were one opportunity for love for each person, who’s to say that the two will speak the same language? Or be in the same country? Or that they’d be in the same place at the same time? What if…
To bring it back to what I wrote last week, love is not just reserved for one person to be given to one other. In a world filled with 7 billion people, the idea that you have to search for effortlessly in the vain attempt to keep yourself from a fate of loneliness, is ridiculous.
I tell my parents that I love them.
I let my brother how much I appreciate him.
I explain to my best friends how important they are to me.
I express my affection for Shane.
I speak the truth.
According to Old Testament scriptures, each person has been given a romantic partner — called a bashert, a lifelong connection. It is said that 40 days before a man is born, God calls out the name of man’s soul mate; it’s a match literally made in heaven.
A person has multiple soul mates — it’d be impossible not to — meant to come in and out of his or her life over the years; these soul mates can be both romantic and platonic. Each soul mate serves a purpose, and once that purpose is served, the two go their separate ways, just a brief intersection on the infinite plane of life.
I don’t believe that I was born with four arms and four legs, that I have a string attached to me, or that God called my name to a man before he was born (sexist much?). I believe I have a plethora of soul mates, people that the universe destined for me to cross paths and form connections with, people who will teach me about the world and, most importantly, myself.
I’ve always known that I’d fall in love several times, whether it be in a day, a year, or a lifetime. I’ve known that there is not just one sentient soul reserved for me to love and learn with.
In fact, I wrote something along those lines about a year ago. Now that I’m in Colorado, the statement rings true again and again. Every day here has been spiritually enlightening. I’ve reconnected with people who mean a lot to me, an old friend who changed my life in many ways over the past decade, and been able to spend time getting to know new people. On top of the people, I’ve seen and interacted with the mountains, traveled to several cities, and experienced new flavors and sights. My intellect is incredibly satisfied, and I’m learning so much about myself in relation to the world I share!
“What I have realized since that summer is that I was made not for one person, not for many people, but for me…. I try every day to fall in love. With me. -From my old post
With last week being Valentines, I felt so surrounded by love and positivity, so I want to focus today on loving humans rather than my previous themes of loving myself and my surroundings.
It was a hard lesson to learn when I met my first recognized soulmate and let him go. Realizing I wasn’t going to spend the rest of my life with him was novel at the time, and led to a long and winding road of self reflection. I remember the moments when I found out he had found someone else. I naively believed until then that he was my single soulmate.
I realized later that just because he wasn’t the one, he was still one. Being separate didn’t take away from his importance in my life. And so, I waited. I deliberated, I moved on, and I waited.
So, what about the soul mates that we don’t end up with? And what about the soul mates that we may never meet?
You know who I’m talking about.
The people who you can’t deny your connection with, but the timing doesn’t allow it to work out. The people so compelling that we never forget them, though there was never any romance. The people who compel emotions and actions that you never anticipated, but you never connected with on a deeper level. The people who make you want to know and be more, and love fully but don’t intend to spend the rest of our lives with.
Whether or not I am in a relationship, there always will (and should be) other people that I share my life with. (Blog post coming sooner or later on how one person simply can’t be EVERYTHING.) To share is to grow, and these other relationships help me to value the others even more. There are just so many people (and places.. and things..), that I want to experience and share.
It’s such a treat to grow with so many souls in a lifespan, and to know that there are others out there who want to grow with us. Is that what a soulmate is?
In this past week of concentrated love, I’ve encountered souls who have impacted me in myriad positive ways. I’m here to connect, and have enjoyed giving and receiving gratitude and camaraderie while in this stunning state.
And always, My feet will carry me to where my heart is.
Everyone has their arbitrary checklist sitting in the back of their mind, right between their ‘ideal weight’ and their celebrity crush.
I said arbitrary, not impossible.
I’ve been slowly checking items off my list for years, and adding things to it as well. Without any timeline due to not knowing when I’ll kick the bucket, I’m sure I’ll accomplish most of them if I lead a long and healthy life.
Sometimes a sloth, sometimes a cheetah
Last year I experienced over a dozen new countries whereas this year I’ll experience probably one. I also checked getting a degree and cliff diving off my list, and added a couple more states visited to the end goal of 50.
At the end of the week, I’m heading out to Colorado to experience life further West and enjoy being an unemployed twenty-something. I’m finding so much beauty in planning to be unplanned for close to a month. I don’t know when I’m coming back to Iowa other than that It’ll be before March 23, when we leave for Brasil. I don’t know what I’ll do or when, or who will be able to make time to host me. It’s all wonderfully up in the air!
So, here’s what I want to accomplish during my 3+ weeks in the mile high area:
Reuniting with the Harem, three of my closest friends from my semester in Europe
A day of skiing. Sunup to sundown, uninhibited love with the mountains
Finish at least one book, starting with Shantaram, then Comfortable With Uncertainty
Tour the Denver Mint
Visit the Tattered Cover Bookstore
Tour the Coors Brewery
Any goal enthusiast will tell you that the only way to define a goal is to give it a time limit. Hopefully by this time next week, I’ll have accomplished at least one of the things on this list, and by this time next month, all of them will be complete!
You know what? I am so proud of all of the adventures I had while traveling!
People ask me about my travels, and I tell them about all of the amazing things I did. In all their envy, they tend to ask questions like “How were the gondolas in Venice? That’s SO on my bucket list!” It’s incredibly sobering to think that gondolas were on my bucket list up until the exact moment that I got to the docks and saw the price tag on a one hour gondola ride.
People I talk to try to make graduating a semester late, or not doing all the cliche things in Europe out to be a bad thing. I beg to differ, and I will never apologize for the decisions that I made while traveling.
Here are the choices I will never, ever apologize for:
Not getting a gondola in Venice – 80 Euro can be much better spent mainland, without a time limit. 80 Euros could last me a week, and blowing it in an hour on dirty, stinky waterways with a pompous driver is not how I want to spend my Venetian afternoon. Sorry Not Sorry. I’d much rather spend $120 booking tickets to Turkey, or eating pizza, or on my ever growing collection of location-focused shot glasses.
Skipping class –Most of these times were spent hitchhiking across the country to swim in the Mediterranean shipwrecks, spontaneously meeting locals and going on mini adventures, and knocking other amazing things off my bucket list.
Getting ill in Athens – I’m not perfect, but I can say that I’ve tried every traditional Greek drink. In one night. Turns out I can also vouch that they don’t mix well.
Meeting a ton of Americans – There is no better way to learn about yourself than meeting other versions of ‘you’. It is humbling to take a step back and looking at my culture from the outside.
Graduating in 9 semesters – Two terms abroad. Two transfers. Two majors. One minor. I chose my adventure!
‘Stealing’ hotel food – See #1, there are better ways to spend my time and money than in lunch lines. I shamelessly carry a mini tupperware to store breads, and eat the breakfast buffet fruit throughout the day.
Sleeping through drives across beautiful countrysides – Sometimes, I was just too busy in the cities to find time for R&R. I’m young, and I sleep well on car rides (thanks mom and dad for countless weekend road trips!). Sure, I missed the vineyards of France and the rolling hills of southern Germany, and there’s nothing better than the landscape of Austria! Which leads me to this:
Taking the long way – I wouldn’t change these road trips for anything. I recommend to anyone to take the time to travel across countrysides, and see countries for more than their landmarks. Beyond that, I’ve loved seeing Europe and far western Asia’s smaller cities and getting to know the authentic cultures.
