I quit drinking after Christmas and have been sober since. In hindsight, the decision to quit drinking was somewhere between ‘Sober January’ and ‘I’m not an alcoholic’. Here are the 3 things I learned during my first 8 weeks of sobriety.
You see – my family LOVES beer. My uncle has brewed it on and off. Nobody in my circles find shame in having a drink with lunch, especially on a birthday, or when the grandkids are in town, or any other small reason for celebration. Beer is tied to connection, joy, and loosely to heritage in my family. I realized that it’s been a decade since the last time I went more than a couple weeks without a drink, so I decided to do a little experiment on myself.
Here’s what I learned after quitting alcohol:
It’s Not That Hard
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little concerned. Everyone on both sides of my family drinks. Some drink to excess, some drink more often than others. Part of me was doing a temperature check to make sure that I could stop if I wanted to.
So, I guess that means I’m not an alcoholic.
Nothing Happened When I Quit Drinking
I went sober right before I moved away from Dallas. In the first couple of weeks of sobriety, I went to visit family and friends for a few weeks and embarked on a nomadic lifestyle. I wanted to be more present in my relationships as they changed, and I succeeded.
I kind of figured that people would push me to drink. You know, the ‘just one, for me’ argument. Really, nobody cared that I quit drinking. My friends still drank. I didn’t.
My sprite intake has skyrocketed.
Nobody asked me to drive for them, or joked about it.
Nobody asked if I was pregnant.
Nobody even asked if I was an alcoholic or had a problem. Not even my doctor.
My skin didn’t suddenly get better. I didn’t lose weight, I didn’t start to get more of a ‘natural glow’. I feel like all those ‘go sober, alcohol is so 1920s’ websites were lying to me.
I didn’t start sleeping better. In fact, for about 6 weeks I slept like shit. Maybe that’s the only difference I really saw. Red wine is a great soporific.
One other thing that happened – emotions. I felt my move. I felt my goodbyes. A personality trait of mine is that I joke to hide discomfort, but when I was alone in my apartment some nights, I emoted better than I have in a long time. Maybe it was the lack of alcohol, maybe it was the move, but that leads me to the last thing I learned:
I’m Glad I Did It.
At the end of the day, sober is better. There, I said it.
I’m not going to be sober forever. But, I’ll say that there’s no single thing that alcohol makes better.
Drinking makes dancing in a crowded room a little less uncomfortable, but I went to concerts and bars and drank water. Or sprite.
Alcohol at the end of an ‘I need a drink’ type of day doesn’t make the day any better, and escaping those days with a little buzz doesn’t make me a stronger person.
Sobriety didn’t make the goodbyes and the ‘see you laters’ any better or worse. It didn’t make my mornings any better, or my workouts more impactful. I haven’t lost weight.
I don’t miss alcohol. To be honest, I thought I would, and it worried me that I might be thinking about it. After the first couple of weeks, I was used to ‘starting with water’ and since nobody really cared, I wasn’t explaining my sobriety to anyone and it was easy to forget about it.
Bonus Lesson Learned: I’ll Drink Again.
That said, I’ll go back. I’m going to Germany next week, and I’ll head to Italy the week after that. I’d be robbing myself culturally if I didn’t indulge – or that’s what I tell myself.
If anything, my ‘drinking days’ are behind me. That said, I’ll still drink, but I think it took living in the sun to see that dancing in the rain isn’t as romantic as I thought it was.
Cheers.